As I purchase a $200 LEGO movie 2 LEGO set for my five year old it dawned on me. I’m not getting any credit for the big purchases on Christmas. Its some imaginary, big, white bearded fellow, wearing a red jump suit. He breaks into our house and gives presents to little girls and boys. Nothing for the parents and we bought the fricken presents to begin with!
So far Santa has taken credit for Toronto Maple Leaf tickets, countless Lego sets, mountains of toys and electronics and this year a $200 dollar LEGO Movie 2 set and most likely an electronic gaming system for my older child. What do I get credit for? Clothes, books, maybe a cool board game. He even gets credit for the damn stocking!
At least on Christmas I can get credit for some gifts. The Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy get credit for everything! If these characters want credit for all of the good stuff they should pay my damn Visa bill afterwards. Not to mention the pain and suffering of trying to find the exact toy they want. For example, this $200 LEGO Movie 2 LEGO set took a lot of work. I had to call store after store until I finally found one that was located a fairly long distance away. It was the only one left. It took me an hour and a half to get it home. My kids think Santa works so hard building all of these toys with his thousands of elves. It was me! Me, me, me!
I’m the one hiding the chocolate eggs and slipping five dollar bills under your pillow while you sleep. I’m the one filling the stockings and eating the cookies and carrots with milk (not a great combination I might add). I do all the wrapping and travelling and fight other parents (Santas) in the malls. I’m the one who waits for hours to find a parking spot. I’m the one trying to fill out my online orders over and over again only to find out that it only delivers to the U.S.A.
If you didn’t make my kids so happy I would find a way to break you. They wake up with that intense sparkle in their eyes. The unbearable excitement when they rip open your present to reveal the exact gift they asked for. The magical dances and laughing and pure happiness that quickly follows. Its the same feeling they get when they find your chocolate eggs or reach under their pillows to find a brand new crisp five dollar bill.
If you didn’t give so many great memories reliving my childhood through my children’s eyes I would expose you for the fakes you really are. If you didn’t create such great spirit, kindness and warmth I would scream to whoever would listen that I’m really all of you. If you didn’t make me so damn happy every year from my childhood right through parenthood I wouldn’t believe in you. There I said it. I believe in you. I will always believe in you. Thank you for our special days of playing together with all of your toys or a family gobbling of all your chocolate. Thank you all for making my kids so exuberant and loving on your special days. I will always believe in you. Sooner or later I will get the credit I deserve but until then keep doing what you’re doing. As for the big guy in the red suit, if you have the time I would love a new beer fridge for Christmas. I think I have been a good boy this year too.
Father Fables Introduction 