I remember this moment very vividly. I know this sounds so cliche but it feels like it was so recent but in realty it also feels like it was an eternity ago.
It was around 11am in Las Vegas and I was slouching by the fountain at Caesar’s. To a passer by I’m sure I looked like a semi depressed and broken man but it was quite the opposite. I had just finished approximately 22 hours of straight non stop partying. Even though I probably looked and smelled like a feral beast I was absolutely saturated with pure satisfaction of a job well done.
This was night one of my stag weekend. I drank poolside at the most decorated pool parties listening to world renowned DJ’s and I used many complimentary drink tickets while betting on the horses and actually winning. The night then took over and consumed my entire being. We hit the clubs with reckless abandon. We drank, danced flirted and ate like Kings.
By 4am Sunday morning it was off to Drais and more drinks and frolicking like careless pixies on a hall pass. I was on top of the world. We were the conquistadors of the night and we conquered everything the Party Gods threw our way. When I staggered out of Drais the suns’s rays were pelting me from every angle. I felt like Dracula left abandoned in the Sahara at midday. Try as I might the day light was not for me and I slowly trudged toward Caesar’s
Now here we are slouching at the fountain basking in the glorious memories of the previous chaos that was. Little did I know that it was all a facade. A glorious mirage that I would never be able to reach again.
It is once again 4am but 18 months later. I am holding my crying infant son looking out at the desolate downtown Toronto streets. They are still littered with the odd late night partiers bumbling into cabs going home. I look at them with jealous fury and envy as my son increases his high pitched wailing by a few hundred decibels. I sway him gently from side to side looking up to the skies for any sign of hope.
I think to myself What the fuck have I done! Its not supposed to be like this. The TV commercials never show this. Babies are supposed to be happy all the time. They are supposed to sleep like koalas and sloths. If I ever find the person who created the quote “Sleep like a baby I will pummel them into oblivion. ITS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THIS WAY”!
Soft snoring snaps me out of my angered trance. As I look down down at my little sleeping angel I think wait a second, this isn’t so bad. I can do this. I’m going to be a great Dad.
I slowly and quietly creep back into the bedroom and very carefully lower him into his very expensive crib that he never sleeps in. The sun has slowly risen to announce a new day and one lonely beam caresses his beautiful, innocent face. For a split second I think man life is great until two open eyes stare at me. The innocent face slowly starts to cringe……………………………………Ah Fuck!
Father Fables Introduction 