I’ll Do It Tonight When I Get Home

When I was young in the beginning of my blossoming career as a teacher I had a virtually flawless routine. When the school day was over I would stay in my classroom, play some music and get some extra work done. Anything I didn’t finish I would complete it that night at home.

My at home ritual was a routine I actually quite enjoyed. I would make dinner, clean up a little then get down to it. I would get on my lap top, blast my music, have a couple of beers and before I knew it I was finished. I’d finish my night by watching some sports and most likely fall asleep on the couch. It was perfect and I was in control.

There came a time when I lost control. I’m not sure when it was. But through foggy recollection I seem to recall it was when my first child was born. There was also a time when I realized I would never get that control back. It was when my second child was born. In fact I no longer even use the expression “I will do it tonight when I get home”. Eventually that phrase morphed into I’ll get it done tomorrow. Even then its a 50/50 chance of being completed.

Even if I do make an attempt to get some work done my kids have a sixth sense and seem to know when I try. It happens all the time. I will notice an unusual quiet all throughout the house. This means the kids are either playing with each other, watching some sort of screen or doing something they know they shouldn’t be doing. Either way I take it as an opportunity to do some work. Maybe even write this story for example. I’ll quickly grab my lap top, a glass of water and if all goes well maybe even type out a few words until they both come out of the cracks in the wall, fall from the ceiling or rise from the floor and announce that they have officially arrived. They will want a glass of milk, some Cheerios or just simply ask in a conniving way “Whatcha doing?”

My older son will lean in with his pointy chin digging into my shoulder and my younger son will sit on my lap forcing me to reach around him in an awkward position just so I can finish the one sentence I’ve typed. The stereo sounds of I’m bored and come and play with us will echo through my head. I respond with a feeble “Can’t you both play together for a few minutes I just need to finish this”. This just leads to “Come on Dad we’re getting too booooooored”. I reluctantly relent and play some hide and seek until dinner time.

After dinner there is absolutely no way you can get anything done with kids in the fold. This is bath, pajama, take your vitamins, brush your teeth and if you’re lucky watch a little Summer Camp Island before bedtime routine. To sum it up its basically two hours every night that you will never get back.

When my little cherubs finally fall asleep I try once again. I stare at the computer screen with my bloodshot, sawdust filled eyes and slowly type each letter as my fingers feel they are glued to the keyboard. My head will slowly bob in and out of consciousness. If I can just finish this one last paragraph. I rub my bald head to try and get my blood circulating to my brain. I’ll slap myself repetitively and shake my head vigorously from side to side like dogs seem to know how to do perfectly just to stay away for one more fleeting moment. When I finally finish I look at my sentence and am shocked to see nothing but nonsensical, chopped up gibberish.

It was during one of these moments when I just looked up to the ceiling and said “That’s it! I give up”. Once I came to acceptance that I truly will never again finish anything when I come home I felt a sense of freedom rather than loss. I now had reasons to do nothing at home after the kids went to bed. I have now taken up a new hobby of binge watching TV shows on Netflix or Amazon Prime. Watching a TV series from beginning to end was a new experience for me. I thought every episode was a new beginning, a fresh new start. I had no idea these TV shows actually had a story line that continued on a weekly basis. Now I’m a Netflix Veteran!

As a matter of fact I deserve to do nothing when I get home. I paid my dues early. I’m a wily crafty veteran in my field now and you can’t teach experience. As a veteran I feel it is my duty to let the younger generations “get it done when they get home”. I feel a sense of pride that I have passed on my knowledge and experience onto to these younger generations to get the job done when they get home. One day they too will no longer be able to finish at home and it will be their turn to teach the future generations to come. In the meantime I’ll watch Shameless Season 7 episode 8.